About Amelia Mavis Christnot

Amelia Christnot is an Oglala Lakota, Kanien'kehá:ka and Metis Navy brat who settled in the wilds of Northern Maine. She considers herself another proud Maineiac. Her picture is from 1984 for purely Orwellian reasons.

Articles by Amelia Mavis Christnot

The Scoop

Professor Ruins Christmas By Pointing Out Why Reindeer Probably Didn’t Make Fun Of Rudolph’s Nose

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer probably was not bullied for his crimson snout—because he and his fellow reindeer cannot see the color red. In news that may shock the North Pole, University of Exeter scientists have revealed that Santa’s sleigh-pullers lack the color-detecting eye cells that humans use to detect red. The same applies to … Continued

The Scoop

Rare ‘Sleeping Beauty’ Condition Makes Student Snooze For 20 Hours A Day—Even Through Christmas

A law student with a one in a million condition known as Sleeping Beauty syndrome has revealed how she has slept through HALF the Christmases since her diagnosis—often staying in a deep slumber for 20 hours without waking. Just 13 when she was diagnosed with Kleine-Levin syndrome (KLS)—a complex neurological disorder, involving recurring periods of excessive … Continued

The Scoop

Modern-Day Rapunzel Hasn’t Cut Her Hair In 28 Years

A  real-life Rapunzel with two meter-long hair, who has not had her locks trimmed since she was five-years-old, is so proud of her magnificent mane she even stars in Christmas shows as her alter ego. But unlike the Grimms’ fairy tale character, who famously let down her endless hair from the window in her prison … Continued

Extra Chunky

Mathematician Creates Brilliant Online Tool To Help You Decorate The Perfect Christmas Tree 🎄

Perfect Ornament Placement Disorder or POPD is a real thing. Sort of. Every year people lament either suffering from it or living with someone who does. POPD is the obsessive need to get the decorations on the Christmas tree exactly right. But help is here! A mathematician has created an online tool to calculate exactly … Continued

The Scoop

Mom Who Spent Over $2,000 On A ‘Designer Vagina’ Says She Feels 15 Years Younger

Inspired by model Danielle Lloyd’s confession to having a “designer vagina” for incontinence, a 56-year-old Essex, England mom spent £1,900 ($2,430) on the intimate treatment—boosting her sex life and making her feel “15 years younger.” A regular user of anti-aging procedures, Abby Short had the tightening treatment after years of incontinence forced her to carry … Continued

The Scoop

Mom Is Raising Awareness After Son With Autism Is Ignored By London Underground Passengers After Getting Lost

A campaigning mom has told how her autistic son’s distressed screams for help were ignored by his fellow passengers, when he lost his caregiver on the London Underground subway system. At 6ft tall, 19-year-old Idrees Malik, of Ilford, east London—who also has ADHD, making it hard for him to concentrate or control his behavior—looks like … Continued

Covfefe

Trump Called Himself ‘Tariff Man’—And Twitter Made Him Into The Superhero We Never Asked For 😂

Not much that Donald Trump says slips past the scrutiny of online critics, so when he described himself as a “Tariff Man” it was only a matter of time before the memes followed. The American president was making the point he would happily revert to tariffs if no trade deal could be reached with China. … Continued

Extra Chunky

Church Uses Live Polling Smartphone App To Engage Congregation During Services

A church is trialing the use of a live voting smartphone app during sermons to help engage its congregation. Worshippers at Aylsham Parish Church in Norfolk, England, are asked to take their phones to services and use their handsets to answer questions which are displayed behind the vicar on a projector screen. They can also … Continued

The Scoop

One-Handed Make-Up Artist Refuses To Let Her Disability Hold Her Back

A one-handed make-up artist has told of her frustration over being questioned by strangers about her disability every single day. Keleigh Thomas, 25—who was born without her right hand or forearm—is frequently stopped on the street by people who want to know what happened to her. She said: “It baffles me why they would need … Continued

The Scoop

Overweight Pooch Who Could Barely Fit Into His Kennel Slims Down With The Help Of A Fitbit For Dogs ❤️

An animal lover has revealed how she helped a beefy black Labrador win his battle of the bulge, after falling for the porky 79 pound  pooch at a dog shelter—slimming him down using the canine equivalent of a Fitbit. When Beth Walker, 22, first laid eyes on hefty Harvey, now eight, he was a sorry … Continued

Extra Chunky

Dutch Court Rules On 69-Year-Old Man’s Bid To Be Legally Recognized As 49

Dutch motivational speaker Emile Ratelband says he feels like he’s  49-years-old, but he’s actually 69-years-old. Last month, he tried to take legal action to change this fact. A Dutch court on Monday rejected Mr Ratelband’s request to shave 20 years off his age in a case that drew worldwide attention. Arnhem court said in a … Continued

The Scoop

‘Simpsons’ Fans Remember George H.W. Bush For His Role In A Classic Episode

The death of President George HW Bush prompted many to remember the former US President for his part in one of The Simpsons’ finest episodes. Bush died at the age of 94 on Friday evening, having served as President from 1989 to 1993 and Vice President from 1981 to 1988. He presided during the collapse … Continued