About John Sundholm

John Sundholm is a writer, video producer and performer originally from Michigan, and is one of those people who says he "lived in London for a while" even though it was only six weeks for study abroad. He made Ellen DeGeneres laugh once so you should probably follow him on Instagram, Twitter and Medium, where he does a lot of yelling under the name @JohntheCraptist.

Articles by John Sundholm

The Scoop

British Family Looking To Hire A Full Time Nanny Who Will Dress Up As Their Daughters’ Favorite Disney Princesses

We all have that one friend that’s super into Disney to an extent that’s like, frankly, kind of weird. Every friend group has one, and if you can’t think of one, you’re probably that friend. You know, people like this: (By the way, that sound you hear is every theater person on Earth simultaneously squealing … Continued

The Scoop

A Random, Autocorrected ‘I’m Baby’ Text Message Just Became The Weirdest Origin For A Meme

Where would we be without memes? What if social media had never happened and we were forced to endure these present horrorshow times without the aid of memes to give us momentary breaks from shrieking into the void to giggle at something stupid. Memers, you’re doing God’s work! And just in time for things to … Continued

Celebri-Tea

There Was Apparently A ‘Forrest Gump’ Sequel That Didn’t Get Made Because Of 9/11, And It’s Bonkers

There are great ideas that sadly never see the light of day, and then there are… let’s go with “interesting” ideas that never see the light of day and it is also sad, but in that sense of “wowee this would’ve been whole-hog batshi*what a bummer!” File the thwarted Forrest Gump sequel under the latter. Yes … Continued

The Scoop

Guy Gets Ripped To Shreds After Saying Women Shouldn’t Complain About Period Pain Until They’ve Skinned A Knee

You ever read something so idiotic you’re like, “LOL this cannot possibly be serious”? And then you give it a closer look and you’re like, “Wait I… I don’t think this IS a joke,” and then you remember you live in a universe where the people who should shut up are ALWAYS. F***ING. TALKING? That ever … Continued

The Scoop

Someone Just Whipped Out A 36-Year-Old Coupon To Save 20 Cents, And Solidified Their Legacy As A Legend Of Couponing

Listen, times are tough out here. Most of us who aren’t part of the “Bribing people to fake photos of your kid playing polo so they can go to Stanford” class are underpaid and underemployed and you gotta save wherever you can, even if it’s just 20 cents! And one enterprising shopper recently did just … Continued

The Scoop

Two Clever Dogs And A Cat Seriously Stress Out Their Neighbor After They Keep Mysteriously Escaping From Their Apartment

At this point, dog and cat videos are pretty much the only thing the internet is good for anymore. (Well, it’s also good for porn, but this is a family website.) The rest is just people yelling and then other people yelling back and then some trolls making bigoted jokes about, like, real-world death and … Continued

Celebri-Tea

Fans Are Swooning Over Chris Hemsworth’s Photos With An Adorable Furry Quokka He Met On His Vacation

When it comes to Hollywood Chrises, there’s just no denying that we have an embarrassment of riches—so much so that there’s even a Best Hollywood Chris March Madness bracket rolling around the internet. And while Chris Evans’s chivalrous deference to Regina Hall at the Oscars and his indisputably correct chip ranking (don’t believe the media … Continued

The Scoop

Vincent D’Onofrio’s Story About How A Childhood Field Trip Turned Into A Lifelong Fear Of Monkeys Is Actually Kind Of Horrifying

The scars of childhood can last a lifetime, and all of us has some darkness from our youth that we can’t escape. For Vincent D’Onofrio, it’s a field trip to see some monkeys. The star of Law and Order: Criminal Intent and the upcoming Ryan Murphy series Ratched, (a TV adaptation of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest) … Continued

Celebri-Tea

Keira Knightley Just Played ‘Despacito’ On Her Teeth, And We Don’t Know Whether To Laugh Or Cry

When you’re a huge movie star doing the late-show rounds to flog your new movie, you probably get tired of saying the same things night after night, right? Every show it’s the same questions about your personal life, same funny anecdotes from childhood, same movie clip with the same description–it’s probably a bit like Groundhog … Continued

Celebri-Tea

Black Actors Are Calling Out Hollywood For Always Hiring Hair/Makeup Artists And Stylists That Aren’t Prepared For Them

We know people of color face myriad struggles in the workplace, but a recent conversation on Twitter has expanded this list to include something most people probably never think about: hair and makeup on film and television shoots. Model Olivia Anakwe recently took to Instagram to call out hairstylists on modeling shoots who don’t know … Continued

The Scoop

Woman Shares The Atrocious ‘Tips’ She Received From An A**hole on Tinder On How To Be A Better Date

There’s nothing worse than modern dating. While dating apps like Tinder have made the act of meeting people easy as pie, their “quantity over quality” approach doesn’t take into consideration that the vast majority of human beings are full-tilt horror shows. So sure, you may get way more dates on Tinder than back in the … Continued

Celebri-Tea

Mark Hamill’s Affectionate Photo With Harrison Ford Is The Luke/Han Reunion We Wanted But Never Got

If you’re like most fans of the Star Wars franchise, you’ve been feeling some sads about the fact that space buddies Luke Skywalker and Han Solo never got to have one final hang before they both died* by the end of The Force Awakens. *juries still out on Luke, come to think of it they never … Continued