About John Sundholm

John Sundholm is a writer, video producer and performer originally from Michigan, and is one of those people who says he "lived in London for a while" even though it was only six weeks for study abroad. He made Ellen DeGeneres laugh once so you should probably follow him on Instagram, Twitter and Medium, where he does a lot of yelling under the name @JohntheCraptist.

Articles by John Sundholm

Celebri-Tea

A New ‘Me On Ellen’ Meme Is Both Bonkers And Morbid, And We Can’t Get Enough

Perhaps the biggest secret to the success of The Ellen DeGeneres Show is its relentlessly positive take on humanity. Over the years, Ellen has made a name for herself as something of a “go-to” for feel-good stories about, well, just plain old folks like you and me! A kid does something cute on YouTube and suddenly … Continued

Celebri-Tea

Anna Wintour Just Gave A Masterclass On Throwing Subtle Shade When Asked About The Kardashians

When it comes to fashion, there are basically two groups running the entire racket: Anna Wintour and the Kardashians. In fact, if you were to remake The Devil Wears Prada nowadays, you’d probably have to add the Kardashians to the “cerulean monologue” somewhere to keep it up to date. But what does Anna really think of the … Continued

#same

Someone Has Been Reading Our Dream Journals—Cadbury Just Announced They’re Hiring Professional Chocolate Tasters

Finally! We’ve all found our calling! Listen, decent jobs are hard to come by in today’s economy. More and more gigs are being turned over to AI and robots, and according to some experts there soon there will hardly be any jobs left! But in the meantime, you gotta stay open-minded because you just never … Continued

Celebri-Tea

Our Jaws Dropped When We Found Out How Expensive This Outrageously Tiny Designer Handbag Was

There are lots of way to earn a living, but in today’s late-capitalist hellscape, there’s one way that’s far lucrative than any other, and that is straight-up scamming people without actually scamming them so they don’t KNOW you’re scamming them but you’re definitely scamming them. You know? Case in point: this handbag from France called … Continued

Celebri-Tea

Lady Gaga Fixing Rami Malek’s Bow Tie At The Oscars Is Too Precious For Words

They have been a bit of a mess in the lead-up (*ahem* and the Best Picture category), but the 2019 Oscars were full of iconic moments. From Billy Porter’s red carpet slayage to Olivia Colman’s wonderfully flustered acceptance speech to the unprecedented number of People of Color who won awards, this was an Oscar night … Continued

Celebri-Tea

Billy Porter Slayed The Oscars Red Carpet In A Stunning Velvet Tuxedo Gown

The Oscars are perhaps best known for getting Best Picture wrong every year, but second only to that is bold fashion statements. Every year there’s something stunning, something bizzare, something truly WTF, and, occasionally, something all of the above that lodges in the popular imagination for years, like Bjork’s infamous “swan dress” we’re still talking about 18 … Continued

Celebri-Tea

Kelsey Grammer Keeps Dropping Hints About A ‘Frasier’ Reboot

Question: have you been hearing the blues a’callin’ tossed salads and scrambled eggs lately? No? Okay me neither, but if you were, there’d be a good reason: If actor Kelsey Grammer is to be believed, there may be a Frasier reboot coming our way! Frasier has recently touted the possibility in a number of interviews, most recently … Continued

The Scoop

We Are So Here For Congresswoman Sharice Davids In The Boxing Ring To Support A Youth Athletic Program

When you elect someone to Congress, you want a person who will fight for you. Freshman Congresswoman Sharice Davids is out here taking that literally… and it’s pretty badass! Davids, a House Representative from Kansas’s 3rd Congressional district, briefly returned to her pre-Congress roots as a prize-winning MMA fighter recently, teaching a youth boxing class … Continued

Celebri-Tea

Jay-Z And Beyoncé Just Accepted A BRIT Award In The Most Badass And Regal Way Ever

As Beyoncé once famously told her fans while dressed as the most regal, scepter-carrying queen imaginable: “Bow down, bitches.” Now, she and Jay are sharing the love with some actual royalty, and it’s taken the internet by storm! At the recent Brit Awards (the UK equivalent of the Grammys), Bey and Jay accepted their Best … Continued

#same

This Shirtless Statue Of Abraham Lincoln Is Honestly Making Us Sweat A Little Bit

Los Angeles is known for many things—Hollywood, of course, great Mexican food, natch, and perhaps especially for its insanely hot people. All those soap opera hunks and hot pop stars are just regular citizens out running errands before they hit it big, after all. So it makes sense that even the statue of Abe Lincoln … Continued

The Scoop

‘Vampire Treatments’ Are Now A Thing And The FDA Issued A Dire Warning Against Trying Them

Just when you think you’ve heard everything… Here’s a fun fact: there are currently establishments out here in these streets offering “vampire treatments” wherein they give paying customers a transfusion of “young blood” to cure ailments like dementia, Alzheimer’s, heart disease and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), despite there being not one shred of evidence that … Continued

The Scoop

This Brilliant Cat Who Literally Unlocked A Door For His Owner Is Probably Smarter Than Most People

Cats! They’re furry, they’re cute, they mostly lie around rejecting your affection and possibly plotting your death! Good ol’ cats! Dogs, on the other hand, can’t live without your affection, and can be trained to do cute things like literally saving lives and stuff! So, Cats: 0, Dogs: Infinity Million right? Well that’s just exactly the … Continued