Polish those resumes kids. The Queen is hiring!
Actually don’t bother because I am already on a plane to scream my resume from the gates of Buckingham Palace and I’m pretty sure that’ll sew this up. I wouldn’t want you to waste your time when I’ve already got it locked.
Anyway, the point is, SOMEONE is hiring a social media manager!
— Good Morning America (@GMA) May 17, 2019
And it’s none other than Elizabeth II, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of her other realms and territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith!
That’s her full title, by which you must address her if you get this job, pretty sure. Surprised you other applicants didn’t know that, like I did.
Competition is steep.
According to the official job posting which, the Royals just have, like, a job board? Who knew?, the work will entail:
“…finding new ways to maintain The Queen’s presence in the public eye and on the world stage… Whether you’re covering a state visit, award ceremony or Royal engagement, you’ll make sure our digital channels consistently spark interest and reach a range of audiences.”
“With an eye to the future, you’ll help hone and shape our digital communications through analytics, monitoring and exploring new technologies.”
Personally, I’m hoping this job consists entirely of posting Queen Elizabeth gifs on Twitter and creating a viral Instagram account for the royal.
It’d be mostly videos of the corgis overdubbed with funny voices, and one of the corgis would be a gay man who critiques the Queen’s outfits.
Please DO NOT steal my ideas for your applications, you CHARLATANS.
Anyway, judging from social media it sounds like the Queen will have plenty of applicants from which to choose.
*frantically dusts off resume* https://t.co/81vrvRdUcd
— Joanna (@castlesburning) May 17, 2019
Lol I’ll do it for free https://t.co/4MBklm6t6C
— MoonPie (@MoonPie) May 17, 2019
— Bill Ferris (@BillFerris) May 17, 2019
HIRE ME YOUR MAJESTY https://t.co/b5oFsC1mp4
— S.GhazaliFard (@SGhazaliFard) May 17, 2019
And some of them had some really interesting ideas for the Queen’s new social presence.
— Elle Rudd 🌻 (@ElleRudd_) May 17, 2019
She would have the most 🔥 account if I was in charge of it.
“Coach Dantonio should have fired everyone. And that’s the tea.”
That’s just 1 example of what I would bring on the reg. https://t.co/eaYmzftXNP
— Moses Fram (@mosesfram) May 18, 2019
i would sign all of her posts ‘love, quee quee’ https://t.co/iH9JWkr6wd
— Alexis Novak (@AlexisGirlNovak) May 18, 2019
Imagine being at a bar and your friends convince you to drunk tweet from the Queen of England’s account https://t.co/YksDAwyA2x
— Dr. Richard Nygard (@BatesByDre) May 18, 2019
While others were just really hoping for a Queen/Wendy’s Twitter beef.
This only ends one way: with the Queen’s account quote tweeting Wendy’s with “don’t kill urself ur so sexy ahaaa” https://t.co/i5ZeoG0v6A
— Khal Drogo died for this exactly (@JacobWHickerson) May 17, 2019
I am so excited for the Queen to get into a Twitter beef with Wendy’s. https://t.co/RLycogHC1N
— James Poniewozik (@poniewozik) May 17, 2019
Can’t wait to see wendys dunk on the queen of england https://t.co/HZ1MhX0djx
— Joel (@joel_alex_) May 16, 2019
And some had concerns about the £30k salary…
I’m kinda interested but $38K won’t even cover my bar tab so https://t.co/CORbvRefxg
— Tasha Stewart (@tstewart2) May 16, 2019
Pay: $38,000, for full-time position
Rationale for pay: “The reaction to our work is always high-profile, and so reputation and impact will be at the forefront of all you do. And having your work shared around the world will be the biggest reward.” https://t.co/DjznzKIKWw
— Maria Konnikova (@mkonnikova) May 18, 2019
"…having your work shared around the world will be the biggest reward."
Isn't the salary supposed to "be the biggest reward"…?
— Mikey 🏳️🌈 (@heresy_now) May 18, 2019
But isn’t creating the world’s hottest corgi content a reward in and of itself? Makes you think.
Anyway, if you think you’ve got the right combination of experience, vision, and personal wealth to allow you to live on about $38,000 a year, you’ve got till May 26 to apply.