This Little Girl’s Favorite Toy Is A ‘Creepy Shakespeare Doll’–And It’s Actually Hilariously Endearing

Every kid has some weird thing they form an unbreakable attachment to. It’s just a rite of passage.

For instance, if I asked you to guess my nephew’s favorite toy, you’d probably say something like a truck, or a stuffed animal, or a ball, but you’d be wrong. It’s a spatula. He takes it everywhere. My phone is full of adorable pictures of this kid, and if you look closely, you’ll find a spatula in nearly all of them, except for the days when he’s decided to trade it for a ladle. A kid’s heart wants what it wants!

This phenomenon explains why one UK toddler is obsessed with a Shakespeare doll, even though the doll in question is indisputably creepy.

That doll definitely spends a lot of time pulling the wings off butterflies in his basement or something equally terrifying. Just look at his dead eyes. He’s not right.

But to Sophie McBain’s daughter, he’s the best friend she’s ever had. McBain, a British reporter for The New Statesman based in New York City, recently talked with BuzzFeed about her 20-month-old daughter’s dedication to “Shayspar,” as she calls the doll, after her tweet about him went viral. Shayspar was a Christmas gift last year, but McBain’s daughter only recently took an interest.

As she told BuzzFeed:

“She’s got all these cute stuffed monkeys and bunnies and an Elmo toy, but for some reason, it’s ‘Shayspar’ who’s really captured her imagination.”

And the two are inseparable: They go on stroller tours of the house, eat meals together (Shayspar has his own bowl), and sleep together every night. Shayspar even…ahem…goes to the bathroom.
You can sense McBain’s very relatable bewilderment when she talks about this particular activity:

“She likes to put him on the potty quite a bit. Which is interesting because I’ve been trying for a long time to get her to sit on the potty, and it’s not happening, but Shakespeare spends a lot of time on the potty.”

Who wouldn’t be terrified of this friendship between a little girl and her profoundly creepy, likely murderous Shayspar? (I don’t trust him. There, I said it.)

On Twitter, people shared in McBain’s anxiety:

But others were delighted by a kid falling in love with something so high-brow!

And one person pointed out that this whole thing could be a lot worse…

While others saw glimpses into the child’s future:

…including possibly unfortunate portents:

Another toddler, another useless future liberal arts degree. As I said, a kid’s heart wants what it wants!