If you’ve spent any time on the internet, you’ve surely noticed that corners of it are obsessed with dogs.
There was a time when we said “the internet is for cat videos” and that will probably never change because cats are mean and weird and possibly evil aliens planning to take over the world and that’s never not hilarious.
But in recent years, the dog-obsessed of the internet have really shown up and shown out—so much so that internet dog culture even has its own language.
And its easy to see why. Dogs really have us humans beat when it comes to variety.
There are big ones, small ones, tiny ones, and minuscule ones that fit in a literal handbag.
Furry ones, scruffy ones, fluffy one and weird naked ones that look like demons (but are surely still very good bois, no offense Xoloitzcuintli!).
Happy crazy ones, sleepy lazy ones and loud mean ones.
And this week, a new genre emerged: regal, high-fashion ones, who can’t really be bothered with your pedestrian sensibilities. Their fastidious turtlenecks are tailored like a dream and match flawlessly, their gaze isn’t so much at you as through you, and they even have a dog of their own.
It all began when Twitter user @sindivanzyl posted a photo of the dogs earlier this week. They are Hortaya Borzayas (similar to the Borzoi and Greyhound but a completely different breed) are royalty (one assumes), and the internet is 150,000% here for it.
I mean, just look at them!
Have you ever in all of your dog-loving days?
I haven’t. To be honest, I’m nervous.
I feel like the Hortaya Borzayas are watching me and that gaze says one of two things:
“I find this human intriguing and I’d like to know more: summon him.”
“Have him removed and destroyed at once.”
And I have literally no idea which it is. They are terrifyingly, unnervingly placid!
They are the Miranda Priestley of dogs. They are this gif in dog form.
And as happens with such iconic internet content, within moments of @sindivanzyl‘s tweet, Twitterfolk were off to the races with hilarious characterizations of the Hortaya Borzayas.
‘Hi, we’re here to sign the petition against the new low-income housing unit. We just don’t feel it’s right for our neighborhood.’ https://t.co/wsCJfeZo19
— Aaron Hanlon (@AaronRHanlon) December 22, 2018
“We’re not disappointed, son, but we just don’t consider Dartmouth to be a real Ivy.” https://t.co/CBg0PT6wFv
— FOIA Gras (@von_owie) December 22, 2018
We’ve been expecting you, Mr. Bond. https://t.co/i4xe4w0lkM
— Do They Know It’s Bevmas 🎄 (@blade_funner) December 23, 2018
“Mostly we don’t eat, smoke cigarettes and get designers to send us free stuff.”
“I love free stuff.”
“I’m hungry, pass me the Diet Coke.” https://t.co/HA7fM3zpx3
— Molly Jong-Fast (@MollyJongFast) December 23, 2018
These dogs are watching the barista make their pumpkin spice lattes intently. They’ll want to speak to a manager soon. https://t.co/hwwCSUmbVE
— Tweetgood Mac (@SnottieDrippen) December 22, 2018
Oh, they’re much too rarified for pumpkin spice. One has a venti with two pumps vanilla, one pump hazelnut, an extra shot, almond milk, and a specified temperature (the other reverses the pumps and has rice milk, no extra shot). They’ll both forget to tip on the app, too.
— Ellen Fulton (@drbfg) December 23, 2018
These dogs look like the two soccer moms that judge other moms at every event regardless of if their kid is there or not. https://t.co/5Qbi2K4Xud
— Madilyn Carothers (@MadilynRenee) December 22, 2018
big little lies (2017) https://t.co/wBlCMaDZpk
— insane (@deIuge) December 23, 2018
Why is the carpet wet TODD?!
—I don’t KNOW, MARGO! https://t.co/kSKaY2F2JE
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) December 23, 2018
These dogs just told me “it smells like broke in here.” https://t.co/OZiDl9ADPi
— Jason Waterfalls (@shegotagronk) December 22, 2018
These dogs starting everyday with avocado toast and constantly talk about being vegan https://t.co/hasAyi7Dth
— Noah Burton (@Noah_Burton16) December 22, 2018
These dogs are the villains in a movie where a golden retriever wins a snowboarding tournament pic.twitter.com/u4yrHlp17e
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) December 22, 2018
And a few eagle-eyed observers noticed that the Hortaya Borzayas are so supreme they even have their own dog wearing its own…
Is that cashmere‽‽
Did anyone notice the 3rd dog… https://t.co/L4pwHWpXFG
— Dylan Park (@DylanP2313) December 23, 2018
I’ve been laughing at the dog in the white jacket in the back for too long https://t.co/dOOAMsZTEx
— Clayton (@cl4yt0n_c00p3r) December 22, 2018
Why does the smaller dog look like he’s their dog https://t.co/MyyiK8pkLU
— Loosey Liu (@CHVNNYBEE) December 22, 2018
No one knows where these dogs came from, exactly, or who they belong to, but what absolutely everyones does know is that they are instantly and eternally iconic!