To everyone out there with a family that asks way too many personal questions (like me), allow us to introduce you to comedian Mary Beth Barone. She has come up with one of the best ways to deal with nosy family members that we have ever seen.
A pamphlet. You read that correctly — a pamphlet. It’s pure simple, assertive genius.
Mary met a guy she wanted to get to know better. They met at a friend’s wedding in North Carolina, but alas, the gentleman lived in Florida. Mary lives in New York.
Problem? Nope! It just so happened that she had a family vacation to Florida planned. She could absolutely go see him and have an official date while she was there.
Except that by “family vacation” we don’t just mean her, a sibling or two, and her parents. Mary was going to be traveling with somewhere between 20 and 30 people — all of whom ask a whole lot of questions.
So she needed a way to get her hands on the rental car, and have some privacy for her date. She could lie, she could try to sneak (which… seriously… if you have a big family, you know it’s literally impossible, don’t even bother wasting your energy), or she could lean into it and pull the assertive move and run the “preventative overshare” play.
She went with option three, gathered all of her creativity and extra-ness and printed out about 15 copies of a pamphlet she brilliantly titled “I’m Going on a Date While We’re on Vacation: Here’s everything you don’t actually need to know but will definitely ask”
We don’t know if a pamphlet is eligible for a Pulitzer, but if it is… someone put this woman’s name in the running.
yes, I did pass these out on my last family vacation. pic.twitter.com/B7Q9P99kQu
— mary beth barone (@marybethbarone) May 1, 2019
She passed out copies to a few family members, who of course informed the rest — and believe it or not, the plan worked! How, you ask?
According to Mary, it was all in the timing.
“I was strategic, I passed it out merely hours before my departure. So no time for them to bug me!”
She got the rental car, went on her date, and mostly avoided a whole bunch of questions about how it went. The guy ended up ghosting her after their date (which is so 2017. Can we get it together people?), but it didn’t matter. Her pamphlet plan had been a success.
So she shared it on Twitter.
Twitter, in turn, fell in love with the scheme.
From someone who recently flew from LA home to my family in NYC to go on a date with one of my sisters' friends that I had hit it off with at a wedding, you are an inspiration in family boundary setting
— ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴀ ꜱɪɴᴋɪɴɢ ꜱʜɪᴘ (@topomodesto) May 3, 2019
An inspirational approach to Big Family Problems, thank u
— kathryn margaret rose (@katstkat) May 1, 2019
stealing this the next time I go out with someone 😂
"Where are you going?"
"I made a pamphlet."
"I made. A pamphlet."
— Gillian (@gill_abrams) May 1, 2019
The tranquil ocean photo on the 'remain calm' page 😙👌
— ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴀ ꜱɪɴᴋɪɴɢ ꜱʜɪᴘ (@topomodesto) May 1, 2019
OMG this is a boss move. I think I might do something similar for all family holiday's re: my love life.
— Maria Del Russo (@maria_delrusso) May 1, 2019
this is the moment that all those brochure-making projects in 4th grade were training us for
— myrrh… myrrhDER! 🔪😱 (@kt_oreilly) May 2, 2019
Im going to use this and I’ll make both an English and Spanish version and offer up either or and it’ll be hilarious
— Bee (@MighteaBee) May 2, 2019
I should have done this with my coworkers when I got pregnant so they would leave me alone.
— DearAbby (@AbbyCop) May 2, 2019
I'll have to remember to create something like this when I visit my family and need an alibi to go to the local bowling alley and order a family-size nachos all by myself.
— The Filmatelist (@Filmatelist) May 1, 2019
From now on I am only handing my family pamphlets to circumvent unnecessary questions. This is next level, girl 👏👏👏
— 🍯🐻 (@neonbumble) May 3, 2019
Mary Beth and her pamphlet have truly changed the game when it comes to dealing with nosy family. Truly she is a visionary. I smell a business opportunity here; anyone want to make a “stop asking when I’m getting married” pamphlet for my next family gathering?