UK DJ Craig Shapes lives with his girlfriend and her best friend.
He and girlfriend Billie lived together for a year before moving to a bigger house with a spare room. Billie’s best friend from university, Sarah, joined shortly thereafter.
“I’ve had male roommates before, and my advice for any guys that get the opportunity to live with females is to go for it! It’s far better than living with another guy! Blokes (guys) are messy and smelly in my experience, I feel very lucky in my situation.”
What he didn’t expect was that he would be getting a personal lesson about what a close female friendship was like.
He began his journal of secrets:
Last year, I moved in with my girlfriend and her best mate. They’re both girls. Some of the shit I’ve seen is EYE OPENING mate (a thread)
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
And wasted no time getting into the nitty gritty:
1. They show each other ALL of the messages that they receive from everybody. Nobody is safe. Girls don’t need screenshots mate, they have photographic screenshot memories
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
As well as disposing of some incorrect preconceptions:
2. Contrary to popular belief, girls do poo. And they ain’t scared to talk about it mate. “I NEED A POO” is probably the most used phrase in this house.
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
A warning:
3. HAIR CLIPS. Oh my days the hair clips. Stand on them, sit on them, wake up with them attached to your skin, mate I could have a fucking bath in the ones I find on a weekly basis
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
And taking away the illusory curtain on a night out:
4. The process for getting ready for a night out is not just “wash, get dressed, go out”. Nah. There’s meetings, catwalk shows, endless compliments and it’s sometimes an actual 2 man job cos some dresses have back zips that would literally be impossible for one girl to reach mate
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
Following, we took a look at the state of the house itself:
5. Candles. We have SO MANY CANDLES. Candles that smell like really weird things, like “rhubarb and custard”. I don’t even know what rhubarb and custard actually smells like?!?
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
And some house traditions:
6. Kardashians. Ibiza Weekender. Ru Paul. Ex On The Beach. Love Island. Geordie Shore. Mate, I know everything about all of these people I’ll never meet. There are SO MANY EPISODES OF THEM ALL! And the worst thing is, I actually gave in and really got in to Love Island
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
And some house rules:
7. If my eyebrows aren’t “fleeky”, they literally don’t talk to me until I agree to let one of the girls pluck them. It’s mad. Girls love plucking someone else’s eyebrows. No idea why!!
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
8. Girls go on and on about dieting and “bikini bodies” etc, but trust me when I say that “cheat day” is pretty much whenever they feel sad about anything. Bad day? Glass of wine. Is it Monday? Chocolate. Did your boyfriend tell you we can’t have a dog? Dominos.
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
Some secrets:
9. I know that the saying goes “girls find out everything”, but if that’s true it’s only because they are NEXT LEVEL instagram stalkers. Seriously I mention a first name, after 5 mins on insta they know the persons dogs name, their shoe size and their national insurance number
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
10. Dressing gowns. If you haven’t got a dressing gown then you are missing out mate. Some days when we’re hungover, we literally don’t get out of dressing gowns all day. The girls go Tesco in dressing gowns and nobody even cares bruv
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
And some of the simple joys of their lives as roommates:
11. Sometimes I sit on the sofa and just watch those two, sometimes they just look and break out in to dance or something. I literally have no idea what’s going on, there doesn’t even have to be any music playing
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
12. Everything is a massive drama. Having to wash your hair = drama. It being cold outside when you expected warm and you have to change your outfit = drama. Not being able to find an item of clothing = absolutely fucking massive drama.
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
13. If visitors come round, we have to know 8-10 working days beforehand so the girls can make sure that the house is clean, they’ve washed and dried their hair and they have makeup on
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
But most of all:
14. Girls share all of the clothes. They might as well have a shared wardrobe. It’s actually gone past the point of them knowing who’s top is who’s lol
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
15. There is so much hair everywhere mate, it’s mad. Especially around the shower, just little clumps of hair. Am used to it now tho
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
He shared that he felt the most at home with his girls that he’s ever felt in his life:
All I’d say tho is that you don’t know true loyalty until you’ve lived with girls. And the house is full of laugher every day. Love them x
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
One more tho… they’re both currently crying at DIY SOS. And crying at something on the telly is completely normal.
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
If you want to follow them, my girlfriend is @BillieJacobina and our best mate is @sjcw_ – they don’t tweet much but when they do they’re better than mine are
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
He’s got us feeling like we want to move in!
H/T: Twitter, Bored Panda
