Archaeologists have unearthed a 2,000-year-old sarcophagus in Alexandria, Egypt—and against all better judgment and apparently, every warning put forth by The Mummy franchise, they’ve decided to open up the mysterious giant black coffin, leaving people on the interwebs shooketh to the core.
— CNN (@CNN) July 16, 2018
According to ScienceAlert, it’s the coffin’s size that really makes it stand out from other finds:
At 185 cm (72.8 inches) tall, 265 cm (104.3 inches) long, and 165 cm (65 inches) wide, it’s the biggest ever found in Alexandria.
Oh, yeah, and there’s like, that large alabaster head they found in the same underground tomb. Experts think it may be a bust of whoever is buried there, but Twitter had another idea:
So did everyone see the Big Alabaster Head that was found with the Massive Black Sarcophagus? When the world is a writing prompt… pic.twitter.com/vh8R60rDZz
— Nicole Willson (@insomnicole) July 11, 2018
– Discovered in Alexandria
– Is around 30 BC (year Cleopatra died)
– A big marble head that looks like Marc Anthony was found with it
– A giant, unusual and dramatic sarcophagus
Whoever could it be….?
Guess who is back, b*tches! pic.twitter.com/v2zKzUkYM1
— Schrödinger's Kat (@InParadoxState) July 12, 2018
And Insider reports that:
‘Experts have not yet determined to whom the tomb belongs,’ Mostafa Waziri, the ministry’s general secretary, told Yahoo News earlier this month.
A jet black sarcophagus, perfectly sealed despite being 2,000 years old, is a rare find in Egypt, where treasure hunters and professional tomb raiders have spoiled many ancient burial sites https://t.co/VW3oydFPjH
— New York Times World (@nytimesworld) July 14, 2018
As soon as the sarcophagus pic hit Twitter, people started clapping back with warnings and fears…
Some argue that opening a sarcophagus that's been closed for 2,000 years can unleash a curse that would usher in a millennium of darkness: https://t.co/jKzSBIsEey
— INSIDER (@thisisinsider) July 14, 2018
We're already in a millennium of darkness. Perhaps this will reverse it.
— Black Girl Reviews (@MovieBuffChick1) July 18, 2018
— S. (@_Simmmy6) July 18, 2018
Dont open it https://t.co/wjnmXIEwBX
— Prime Meister #BB20 (@Crassiux) July 18, 2018
Don’t do it lol pic.twitter.com/px3KKmmLg0
— A.Girl (@msblackGirlUSA) July 18, 2018
( (> Gonna
<) )> Dieeeee
— Delaney Strunk (@delaknee) July 17, 2018
…and jokes—lots of jokes:
It can't get any darker than the state of American politics currently to be honest.
— Zaheen Ahmad (@Supezman) July 18, 2018
*evil spirit emerges*
MWAHAHAHA FINALLY.. AFTER CENTURIES AT REST, I, SUTEKH, HAVE RETURNED TO UNLEASH CHAOS UNLIKE ANYTHING YOU'VE EVER SE…
…did…did another unholy force beat me here?
YOU guys did this? Wow.. well.. nice job I guess?
— John Karalis (@RedsArmy_John) July 17, 2018
Everyone: Trump is going to destroy the world!
Whatever is Inside: Hold my beer.
— Poetic Romantic (@Platinumsquire) July 17, 2018
I, for one, welcome our new Zombie Mummy overlord. https://t.co/la53pcT40i
— Ashley in Wonderland (@NotATadpole7) July 17, 2018
Some remembered the best advice they ever got from the movies:
You all learned absolutely nothing from Brendan Fraser.
— Jimmy Kelly (@TheSlicee) July 17, 2018
Isn’t there a film series on why this is probably a bad idea? https://t.co/HaEgRJZ8fU
— Michael Ohiku (@MichaelOhiku) July 17, 2018
Others balanced their pragmatism and calls to open the box with acknowledgements that, well, ya know, we’re all probably gonna die:
Look, I realize that by saying this I am dooming myself to be among the first victims of whatever ancient beast emerges from it, but I don't buy the idea that there's anything in that sarcophagus other than a very old mummy. OF COURSE they should open it.
— Mike Madden (@MikeMadden) July 17, 2018
being eviscerated by an ancient spectral force would make more sense than most things that happen on a daily basis. i say open it up. https://t.co/q504KA81BG
— brendon bigley (@brendonbigley) July 17, 2018
— correlophus sillyhattus (@indik) July 17, 2018
TBH, at times it was hard to tell whether folks were talking about Trump or whatever might be inside the black box:
— Nick Bosworth (@Nick_Boz) July 17, 2018
Too late. pic.twitter.com/DE3kfuSEgw
— Tennesseine (@Tennesseine) July 18, 2018
Its just Imhotep in there, he'll only bring the destruction of the world searching for Anck-su-namun if you open it ¯_(ツ)_/¯
— Prime Meister #BB20 (@Crassiux) July 18, 2018
It could've. We dodged that bullet in November of '16
— Lerch (@NeilLerch) July 18, 2018
It’s actually just superglued, someone unwittingly cracked that bad boy open November 2016. Oops.
— #BecauseIDied (@BecauseIDied) July 18, 2018
But as Insider says:
We’ll “probably” be fine
Well that’s reassuring Insider pic.twitter.com/NBtf9dKhVa
— N ✨ (@taenkookie) July 18, 2018