Ah, first base. Every boy in middle school dreams about getting to those bases and boasts about how far they’ve gotten. It’s the weirdest, most awkwardly toxic thing for twelve-year-olds to be discussing.
It’s also weird that we define a relationship by how physical we’ve gotten with someone. So Millennials and Gen Z, being Millennials and Gen Z, are tired of these outdated sexual expectations, and have created a series of new definitions for the “bases.”
first base: sex
second base: good morning texts
third base: singing in the car together
homerun: meeting their family— JSTJosh (@JoshJST) July 23, 2018
One of the major devices of this meme is putting sex first, because we all know that that is definitely not where the home run lies.
first base: sex
second base: forehead kisses
third base: making you playlists
homerun: caring about your mental health— *.°❁ (@princesslysi) July 21, 2018
first base: sex
second base: day drunk shopping
third base: saving the bees
home run: discussing the political circumstances of the freedom of bobby shmurda— Chris Liner (@Lizard_Wizard69) July 23, 2018
First base: sex
Second base: actually hanging out again
Third base: seeing me cry
Fourth base: unconditional love & support— hispanic pixie dream girl ✨ (@xhastalamuerte) July 17, 2018
first base: sex
second base: sharing music
third base: sharing ugly childhood photos
fourth base: hanging out during the day time— ѕαм ◡̈ (@sxmmie) July 19, 2018
Though some users don’t get to sex at all—speaking to how easy it is to ignore the opportunity for a date in its early stages.
first base: watching their instagram stories and replying
second base:
third base:
home run:— jaboukie young-white (@jaboukie) July 22, 2018
first base: actually texting back
second base: sending pics of my dogs
third base: sending demos that are vaguely about the person
home run: meeting up in a neutral location once & being awkward the whole time— saltlick (@saltlickoh) July 18, 2018
Sometimes we bring in those French existentialists.
First base: talking about Sartre.
Second base: talking about Heidegger.
Third base: talking about Hegel.
Home run: admitting you've only read the Wikipedia pages.— Existential Comics (@existentialcoms) July 21, 2018
And sometimes we bring in Brandon Flowers from The Killers.
first base: falling asleep
second base: calling a cab
third base: having a smoke
home run: taking a drag— E L I J A H M A N N (@ButCallMeEli) July 18, 2018
Somehow the plot of Shrek always makes it in, too.
first base: your swamp gets overrun with fairytale creatures
second base: rescue a princess from a tower
third base: deliver her to lord farquaad to clear out the swamp
home run: crash the wedding with a dragon and turn her into an ogre— buck mcneely (@macleanlandis) July 20, 2018
But all in all, the purpose of the meme is clear: let’s de-normalize talking about sex like it’s scorekeeping. Most of us want so much more than that, and having those kind of conversations, even through joking threads like Twitter memes, are really important to reshaping the future of those middle schoolers in the thick of it right now.
First Base: Having sex
Second Base: Making eye contact
Third Base: Falling in love with the person and deleting Tinder
Home Run: Starting an open relationship and downloading Tinder again
— Luqmaan Khan (@luqmaank99) July 20, 2018
first base: sex
second base: talking about anime
third base: watching anime together
home run: watching 700+ episodes of naruto together— ⓥ (@ashleesummerr) July 20, 2018
first base: profusely liking each other's tweets
second base: dms
third base: never interacting ever again— whomst (@stage4donttry) July 24, 2018
First base: unprotected sex
Second base: keeping your location on when you hangout
Third base: doing nonsexual things together
Home: some sort of emotional attachment— Mickey George (@M_george03) July 22, 2018
First base: sex
Second base: hanging out in the daylight
Third base: creating a series of inside jokes only you two understand
— Aol.com (@lukasbattle) July 24, 2018
first base: sex
second base: talking about figure skating
third base: watching figure skating together
home run: watching yuzuru hanyu’s entire career together— elaine (@kettrdam) July 21, 2018
More of these memes, please!
