Well, that’s it, folks—we now live in a world where Time Magazine has gone bananas. No joke but all shade, two days ago Time Magazine dedicated valuable space to reporting on the viral banana hack of 2018.
While this so-called hack (really more of a marketing/packaging win for a Korean grocery store) is perfectly fit for a Twitter call-out and quick day-in-the-life-of-the-internet wrap-up here on Guacamoley, it should be well below the usual journalistic markers for an outlet like Time.
Nevertheless, here’s our take on this wig-snatching, world-changing banana hack.
Genius at work. E-mart in Korea is now selling the “One a Day Banana” pack, containing several bananas of different ripeness so that you can eat them over several days. https://t.co/VWEkSsE1my pic.twitter.com/V2uLRLKpwL
— T.K. of AAK! (@AskAKorean) August 6, 2018
We have to admit, when we saw this, we were shook!
Bananas have always presented somewhat of a problematic food relationship for many of us.
There’s the issue of opening the banana, which many of us struggled with until we learned how to open our bananas like a monkey:
Next came tips on ripening them faster:
And using them as egg replacements in dairy-free and gluten-free recipes:
According to a Google-translated press release for E-Mart, the Korean grocery store responsible for this banana-riffic solution, “Hana Hanana Banana” set out to allow E-Mart consumers to eat fresh, ripe bananas every day. Well, except maybe on Sundays, because the package comes with a “total of six, ranging from ripe banana to less ripe bananas.”
Even if it’s only in Korea for now, people are all about this simple but brilliant plan for one ripe banana a day…
I love this. I have banana ripeness anxiety.
— Allyson Beatrice (@allysonbeatrice) August 6, 2018
Wow that's…a new level of something.
— Moon (@MoonHoneygrove) August 6, 2018
“With a stop light,
green means 'go'
and yellow means 'slow down'.
With a banana, however, it is quite the opposite.
Yellow means 'go',
green means 'whoa, slow down',
And red means 'where the fuck did you get that banana?'”
— T.K. of AAK! (@AskAKorean) August 7, 2018
BaaS (Bananas as a Service)
— Modern Major Generalist (@DapperDanMan0) August 6, 2018
What? I don't even know who that is. I'm sorry. pic.twitter.com/YflTzodiZZ
— Michael Hyun Welch (@mhwelch1211) August 7, 2018
According to the translated press release, E-Mart released “Eating Coconut” in November, which makes it easier to eat (well, maybe drink) coconut with a straw, as well as last year’s special watermelon pack with handles to “solve the hygiene problem and the transportation problem of the watermelon.”
In truth, the internet has been full-on bananas for quite some time now, inventing new banana hacks each day…
Now, if we could just solve the issue with those blasted banana strings (called phloem bundles—ewww) that muck up the otherwise enjoyable experience of easily peeling and noshing on a perfectly ripe Korean banana!