Mark Wahlberg has been famous for longer than many of us have been alive. Whether you know him as Marky Mark the rapper, Mark the model, Mark the actor, or Mark the burger dude who is on reality TV sometimes, you probably know who he is. If you’ve ever wondered what a celebrity schedule like his looks like – we’re about to tell you.
Spoiler Alert: It’s intense.
Mark was answering some Instagram FAQs the other day and shared what his typical daily schedule is. Before we share, we want to remind you that he’s a celebrity with untold resources at his disposal, crazypants money, a famous name, and all sorts of privilege and connections that you will probably never know. Please don’t feel bad if this looks nothing like your day. After all, we don’t all have a cryo-chamber.
You ready? Here we go.
2:30 am wake up
2:45 a.m. prayer time
3:15 a.m. breakfast
3:40 – 5:15 a.m. workout
5:30 a.m. post-workout meal
6:00 a.m. shower
7:30 a.m. golf
8:00 a.m. snack
9:30 cyro chamber recovery
10:30 a.m. snack
11:00 family time / meetings / work calls
1:00 p.m. lunch
2:00 p.m. meetings / work calls
3:00 p.m. pick up kids @ school
3:30 p.m. snack
4:00 p.m. workout #2
5:00 p.m. shower
5:30 p.m. dinner / family time
7:30 p.m. bedtime
See what we mean? Intense. At 2:30AM, more than half of us are still mentally wrestling with crippling self doubt or still binge watching some British baking show. Not Mark Wahlberg. He’s waking up to start a day full of eating, golfing, working out, and praying. By 930AM, a time most of us are just starting to get enough coffee in our systems to be functional facsimiles of human beings – Mark has already worked out once, eaten 3 times, and is “chilling out” in a cryo-chamber. There’s a chunk between 1PM – 3:30PM that looks sort of relatable, but then things go off the rails again with his early dinner and bed time. While Mark Wahlberg is tucking himself in for nighty-nights, his fanbase is still playing the “What do you want for dinner? I don’t know. What do you want?” game with their families.
The schedule is so far removed from the average person’s that Twitter couldn’t help but make a joke out of it.
Mark Wahlberg and I have very similar days pic.twitter.com/uw3Ht1PeuP
— Joshua Weller (@joshweller) September 12, 2018
I was exhausted reading it. Still had the energy to google a photo of him though.
— Joel Creasey (@joelcreasey) September 13, 2018
Yeah but he looks good. Who needs to work….. lol
— Amelia (@kokoleloko) September 13, 2018
Mark Wahlberg’s schedule stresses me OUT.
Why would you want your day to be that PACKED with things?
Why would you want to go to bed at 7:30?
I need a nap after reading his schedule pic.twitter.com/GBq8lMkqQm
— Lunchbox (@RadioLunchbox) September 13, 2018
That’s the “family time” scheduled
— allen jacobs (@allen_jacobs) September 12, 2018
This isn't crazy enough. He could easily be combining work calls and meals during this 90 minute shower. Why isn't he more efficient? pic.twitter.com/4Re4XFgO4n
— Ray Devlin (@Ray_Devlin) September 12, 2018
And more than a few people pointed out that Mark has kids, who, according to this schedule, don’t see him very much.
— YaBøii ||-// #TØPISBACK (@Yaboijeckogecko) September 13, 2018
His poor family!!
— suzie b (@suzieQ49855) September 12, 2018
“Where’s dad?” one wonders, gesturing in sign language to his siblings like the kids in A Quiet Place so as not to disturb their movie-star father.
— GrillsMafia (@jaygrillz) September 13, 2018
But more than anything, people seriously questioned how it only takes him a half hour to golf. Worry no longer, Twitter. Mark has clarified for us all:
Oh, and if you were wondering what he does on days he doesn’t have access to his personal cryo-chamber, don’t feel bad for him. That half hour morning prayer session means he’s in good with the lord and he gets to use “God’s cryo.”