Get ready for a yuletide game-changer. Kentucky Fried Chicken, answering what were surely innumerable pleas from around the world, have finally decided to sell a fire log that, when burned, smells like fried chicken.
It’s a Christmas miracle! The $18.99 log was announced on Thursday, December 13, and was immediately available for purchase at KFCFirelogs.com, though it is, sadly, already sold out (at least for now).
"On Thursday, the chicken chain announced that it would debut the KFC 11 Herbs & Spices Firelog. When lit, the log will smell like the chain's fried chicken, it said."
I'm here for this. https://t.co/HXlqns2RXK
— Meg Kinnard (@MegKinnardAP) December 14, 2018
Andrea Zahumensky, the chief marketing officer of KFC US, released a statement, saying:
“At KFC, we have always been proud of our role in bringing loved ones together at the dinner table around a bucket of our world-famous fried chicken. Now, this winter we’re bringing all the things we love — family, friends and fried chicken — together around the fire with our scented firelog.”
I’ll wait the mashed potatoes and gravy log. Thanks!
— S.C. WeatherPictures (@scwxpix) December 14, 2018
A description of the product on KFC’s website claims:
“YOU’LL NEVER SETTLE FOR A BORING, FIRE-SCENTED FIRE AGAIN. more than a million years, mankind has been attempting to improve upon the simple fire. We’ve tried burning different things like sticks or leaves or various incriminating documents. We’ve tried making fires last longer. We’ve even figured out how to turn them into different colors. All of that experimentation, all of that innovation, has culminated in this event, the KFC 11 Herbs & Spices Firelog, from Enviro-Log®.”
✔️Bacon vending machines
✔️KFC fire logs
— ????????????????????????????ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ (@AmandaShouting) December 14, 2018
“Imbued with the unmistakable, mouth-watering aroma of Colonel Sanders’ secret recipe, the KFC 11 Herbs & Spices Firelog finally puts to rest the age-old dilemma, ‘How can I make this fire a hundred bajillion times better?’ This one-of-a-kind firelog from Enviro-Log, a leading manufacturer of firelogs made of 100 percent recycled materials, is the result of countless hours of research and development, all done over the last couple of months since we had this idea. Pick up a firelog today, and you’ll be wondering how you were ever able to enjoy a fire that didn’t smell like fried chicken.”
Rather than think this through and be consumed by the inherent pitfalls, I’m in, consequences be damned
— Tivis Sutherland (@tivissutherland) December 14, 2018
KFC has a bit of a reputation for strange marketing tactics, including 2016’s Colonel Sanders’ Extra Crispy Sunscreen, a sunscreen that, you guessed it, smells like fried chicken and sold out much quicker than it had any right to.
Let us know how this works out. Next Waffle House will put one out that smells like breakfast cooking. 🙂
— WatchYourRepsSC (@WatchYourRepsSC) December 14, 2018
Since 2015, the chain has also made a show of quickly rotating through many different comedians and actors as the “new” Colonel Sanders. These include “Billy Zane, Darrell Hammond, and Reba McEntire.”
Upon hearing news of the chicken-scented log, Twitter had a couple jokes they had to get out of their system.
Make it Popeye's and I'm in.
— dixietoo (@DiXieTwo82) December 14, 2018
Buring at the White House right now.
— Glenn Saw (@1Canadian_eh) December 14, 2018
Damn, sold out! Note, it tells you not to put your face in the fire to smell the chicken.
— Mike Meadows (@mikewvu83) December 14, 2018
Waiting for that first person to put ranch or honey mustard dressing in the fireplace too https://t.co/CjJ0pIX2IQ
— Rami (@Ramisms) December 13, 2018
Tony Lowings, KFC’s incoming global CEO, attributes the company’s success in marketing at least partially to its past:
“Over the years, we’ve had many, many people try and emulate KFC’s successes … and no one has ever got close. And part of the reason for that is that our history is real.”
Introducing the 11 Herbs & Spices Firelog from Enviro-Log®, the best way to make a fire smell less like fire and more like fried chicken. Get yours today at https://t.co/u2baCmHQYF. pic.twitter.com/y4TRf4cqQs
— KFC (@kfc) December 13, 2018
Hoping for a nice, fried-chicken-smelling home this holiday season? Then go grab your KFC log and celebrate the way the Colonel intended!