We know how it goes. Kids can say some seriously cringe-worthy stuff. Sometimes, it’s a disturbing comment that creeps us out. Other times, it’s a hilarious comment that will make us laugh for years to come. But most often, it’s something embarrassing that will leave their parents in some severely awkward situations. Those are the things we will never forget.
Reddit user u/chtoupe11 knew that to be a fact, since he asked the question: “What is the most embarrassing thing your toddler said out loud in public?”
Naturally, there were some extremely entertaining answers.
These are some of the best…
1. We all want a nice, cold beer sometimes
“When I was little (under 5) my dad would jokingly ask if I wanted a cold beer. I would always respond with “no.” Until one day when we were in the grocery store, he asked if I wanted anything, to which I replied: “a cold beer” while we were standing in line.”
2. When he said “no food” he didn’t actually mean “NO food”
“My son came home from kindergarten with his backpack full of canned food. When pressed about the issue he confidently stated that he had told the teacher he was hungry and we didn’t have any food at home! They had sent him home with the donations for those in need!! We got him to return the food the next day… Its a funny story we tell now but talk about embarrassed!!!”
3. It’s not always alochol
“I was with a group of friends and was asked if I drink. I said I don’t really, and my daughter said “but mom, you drink all the time.” She had no idea the difference between drinking alcohol and drinking everything else.”
4. We don’t need to guess who farted
“Carrying my daughter back from the bathroom through a crowded hipster brunch spot while she shouted ‘HE FARTED!!’ at every single table. In case there was any confusion she was also pointing at my face.”
5. Cigarettes for mommy
“My wife had my 3 year old at the park one day. She decided to pick up some litter to make the park look nicer so she was throwing away pop bottles, chip bags etc and he wanted to help.
He stoops to pick up some cigarette butts and my wife says leave those to mommy (she wasn’t going to pick them up but didn’t want him to touch them either).
A few minutes later he has gone to play. He tells another mom, “I’m finding cigarettes for mommy”.
My wife was so embarrassed and said she got the dirtiest looks from near by parents who heard this.”
6. Should we call the police?
“Four year old son was misbehaving in a store, and I told him if he didn’t control himself we were going to leave. He escalated, and I picked him up and carried him through the entire store. He was surprisingly putting up little fight. As we pass the checkout lanes he loudly says “Hey mister, put me down!” I didn’t hesitate, didn’t make eye contact with anyone, just turned beet red and kept marching out the door.“
7. If she doesn’t scare you…
“After watching 101 Dalmatians the day before, I was grocery shopping with my daughter. We crossed paths with an old Lady in a somewhat dirty church suit and tons of makeup with sloppy red lipstick. My daughter points at her and says, “daddy, that’s a bad lady”. The lady did kind of look like Cruela DeVille…”
8. The secret’s out
“My youngest sibling is 10+ years my junior, so I grew up with him embarrassing me in public.
The worst was around Christmas one year when we went to Walmart after going to a church service. The service was about the virgin birth and how no other virgin had ever had a baby before. My brother was probably about 4-5 at the time, so while he didn’t know exactly what made someone a virgin, that service taught him virgins couldn’t have babies.
Anyway, we’re in the check out line and behind us is a woman who is obviously pregnant. My brother points to her and says very loudly, “Look, that lady isn’t a virgin”!”
“During a private Remembrance Day (Armistice Day) ceremony with veterans, my 3-year-old soiled her diaper. I changed her in a back room and when we came out, it was the moment of silence. She slammed the door and yelled to all the vets, “I just had a BIG poo! And it had PEANUTS in it!””
There’s nothing quite like “the stuff kids say.”