So Apparently There’s An Old Derogatory Term For An Unmarried Woman Who Is Older Than 26—And It’s Actually Kind Of Badass

Much like “Nevertheless, she persisted,” when men try and make derogatory terms for women, it can sometimes backfire GLORIOUSLY.

Welcome to life beyond “spinster.”  We know “spinster”: it originally meant a woman who makes clothes, or “spins” at a spinning wheel.  Because women working was frowned upon, it became the word for single women of a certain age.

But little did we know, there’s more!  See, “spinster” only covered women up to age 26.  What happens to her after that?

She becomes a “thornback.”

That is a pretty epic name. It’s no wonder Sophia Benoit of GQ is excited about it.

She tweeted about her plans to use that name forevermore:

And other women began to follow suit.

Everybody is falling in love with “thornback.”

“Thornback,” despite its archaic roots, still exists in English today, but is used to refer to one of three animals:

  1. any of several European rays with many tubercles on the back and a double row of spines on the tail
  2. a large European spider crab (Maja squinado) with a spiny back
  3. a guitarfish (Platyrhinoidis triseriata) with spines on the back, found in the Pacific

We can see how in olden days, being compared to one of these creatures may have been insulting.  But gone are the days where showing a little ankle could intoxicate a man on the street.  Here are the days of women with superpowers.

…such as their incredible thorny backs.

And some people were coming up with names for after Thornback that are just as epic.

Yas, Judi Dench.  Yas.

“Thornback” is literally our anthem.

Okay thornbacks, let’s get in formation.