Rachel Bloom Has A Brilliantly Raunchy Idea For A New Harry Potter Movie After J.K. Rowling’s Latest NSFW Revelation

Let’s face it: Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling runs the risk of becoming the next George Lucas, constantly making tweaks to the universe she created.

Rowling has claimed, years after the fact, that wizards didn’t have indoor plumbing and simply defecate themselves, and that Hogwarts had Jewish students, as well as Wiccan and LGBT students (none of whom were mentioned in the books, by the way) amongst other things.

Rowling now claims that Albus Dumbledore and Gellert Grindelwald had an “incredibly intense” sexual relationship.

Rowling made this statement on the “Distinctly Dumbledore” special feature for the upcoming Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald Blu-ray:

“Their relationship was incredibly intense. It was passionate, and it was a love relationship. But as happens in any relationship, gay or straight or whatever label we want to put on it, one never knows really what the other person is feeling. You can’t know, you can believe you know.

So I’m less interested in the sexual side – though I believe there is a sexual dimension to this relationship – than I am in the sense of the emotions they felt for each other, which ultimately is the most fascinating thing about all human relationship.”

Rowling has claimed that Dumbledore is gay since 2007, noting that his relationship with the future dark wizard Grindelwald was one of his life’s greatest personal tragedies. The Fantastic Beasts film, however, does not shed any new light on the duo’s relationship.

Enter Crazy Ex-Girlfriend‘s Rachel Bloom, who says she would be happy to produce a pornographic film version of the Dumbledore-Grindelwald affair:

Oh, and it gets better:

One fan is totally on board with the idea, but would prefer that Bloom, should this project move forward, cast someone other than Johnny Depp, whose portrayal of Grindelwald in the Fantastic Beasts films has been met with a lukewarm reception:

Bloom had the perfect response for this, too:

This fan really wants this project to take off. So much so that they’re willing to use their own kidney as collateral:

Bloom seemed to appreciate the offer:

Others clearly believe she’d be up to the task:

And now we can’t get this out of our heads:

To be fair, we’d also count ourselves among the disappointed flock of moviegoers if this doesn’t happen:

Well, Rachel?

We’re waiting.

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