Everyone has a story to tell — even Donald Trump Jr.
Just don’t go looking for his published work in the funnies because that’s not the genre he’s going for.
The President’s eldest child with ex-wife Ivana just inked a book deal with Center Street Books, and according to Politico, “publisher Rolf Zettersten and Center Street editorial director Kate Hartson negotiated the deal with attorney and literary agent Tom Winters” to make the magic happen.
A close source said Jr.’s literary project would be a book “that will focus on politics, current events and the future of the MAGA movement” and will be published later this year.
The tome’s title is still up in the air, but Jr. needn’t worry.
The internet is here to help.
Plenty of ideas are already circulating with the hashtag #DonJrBookTitles.
— Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) May 22, 2019
Possibilities for the perfect title are infinite because the 41-year-old makes it so easy.
Pride and Extreme Prejudice
The Tax Man Cometh
Triumph of the Shill
A Fail in Two Cities
Little Lord Flauntleroy
The Great Twatsby
Twelve Years a Slave to Russian Banks
Malice in Blunderland
Collusion Runs Through It#DonJrBookTitles
— Pseudolus (@Undershafted) May 22, 2019
— cassandracarolina (@cassandra17lina) May 22, 2019
This title could also be adapted into a Lifetime movie.
My Sister's Husband Is A Serial Killer!
By Donald Trump Jr #DonJrBookTitles
— DJAlexRyan (#ImpeachTrump) (@djalexryanmusic) May 22, 2019
Even Ivanka, who penned two self-help books, is game for roasting her sibling.
— Ivanka Trump (@IvankaTrump) May 22, 2019
Trump Jr. blackmailed Ivanka with a photo of her as a child.
Sigh, she sure was an adorable angel long before the brainwashing.
Apparently I'm due for some little sister revenge… just remember @IvankaTrump
he (or she) who laughs last, laughs longest. I guess it's time to write an Ivanka childhood stories chapter, lots of great material.😉😘 #DonJrBookTitles https://t.co/B3cJ2eLMNI pic.twitter.com/FKmgRJq8cM
— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) May 22, 2019
But his involvement in the frivolity by using the hashtag just made the roasting so much better.
So Twitter pushed the envelope further with more audacious suggestions.
"The Orange Doesn't Fall Far From the Tree"#DonJrBookTitles
— 🍑RogueNYCer🍑 (@rogueNYCer) May 22, 2019
A Man for All Treasons
— spacecat (@SpaceCatZero) May 22, 2019
Killing Animals to Compensate for Having a Small Penis #DonJrBookTitles
— Rick Schilling (@rschilling1) May 22, 2019
Dumb and Dumbest: The tale of a father-son grifter team #DonJrBookTitles
— (((DeanObeidallah))) (@DeanObeidallah) May 22, 2019
— Miss Myrtle (@MissMyrtle2) May 22, 2019
— Eric Wolfson (@EricWolfson) May 22, 2019
This is perfect for young adult fiction.
Step aside Dr. Seuss fans, and make way for this court jester.
What Do You See?
I See A Douche
Sitting On A Tree
— CK (@charley_ck14) May 22, 2019
There is no shortage of ideas.
Crime and Avoiding Punishment
Heart of Dorkness
— CtrlFreq (@CtrlFreq) May 22, 2019
This might ultimately be the winning entry.
Don, what do you think?
Now, what would the inside jacket have to say about his stupendous literary debut?