Two raucous raccoons were arrested in a West Virginia neighborhood under suspicion of rabies—turns out they were just getting their drink on.
The incident occurred on Monday in Milton, West Virginia. After receiving calls from concerned citizens over the course of a couple of days, the local police department apprehended two raccoons (one apparently named Dallas) who were displaying signs of rabies.
But actually, they were just drunk on fermented crabapples.
It was the first arrest for Ptl Scarberry who took the masked bandits into custody with the help of Sgt. Collins and several neighborhood residents, according to a Facebook post by the Milton Police Department.
According to HuffPost, officers released both raccoons into the woods unharmed, after they sobered up.
Here’s the police department’s original post:
News of the incident quickly spread to Twitter:
Police in Milton, West Virginia responded to complaints this week of two raccoons that appeared to be rabid. The investigation showed the little fella pictured here and his pal were drunk on fermented crabapples. Treated and released… into the woods. pic.twitter.com/8XBnKcGKsn
— Tim Irr (@WSAZirr) November 13, 2018
Twitter users bumped on the word “treated”:
What is 'treatment' for being a drunk raccoon?
— Ilan Levine (@IlanYLevine) November 14, 2018
— Mark H. Hayes, Esq. (@marshallmarkesq) November 14, 2018
— Rocky (@herdnurse) November 14, 2018
They call that Hair of the Raccoon! 😂
— Tank ATX (@BikerButt) November 14, 2018
Matt’s suggestion below prompted a legitimate answer (though the Milton Police Department did not state that any such action was taken, in their Facebook post):
Treated? So took them to the Taco Bell dumpsters?
— Matt!!! (@Huinks) November 14, 2018
Treated probably means they vaccinated against rabies before releasing. I volunteer at a wildlife center and that's what we do.
— Diana Yarnell (@DianaYarnell) November 14, 2018
Some commenters were jealous:
@emilyrperlstein feel like “drunk raccoon” is a lifestyle goal
— Scott Geldzahler (@shgeldz) November 14, 2018
In completely unrelated news I have to go to West Virginia immediately
— Emily Perlstein (@emilyrperlstein) November 14, 2018
Did they have any leftover crabapples?
Asking for a friend..
— Trinton (@REAL_TRINTON) November 14, 2018
Dramatizations of the arrest:
That’s what they ALL say. 🦝
“Honest officer! I haven’t been drinking.
Just crabapple juice. That’s all…hic!” pic.twitter.com/QMCscmIQwj
— 🌺Donna RF (@creede44) November 14, 2018
These commenters didn’t believe the happy ending part for one second:
I don’t believe this whatsoever. Those police in Milton did not get off the interstate for this
— Ferris (@ferrisfitless) November 14, 2018
— Childish Albino (@littleseizurez) November 14, 2018
Other thoughts about their release:
They were sentenced to one AA meeting, then released on their own recognizance.
— M.A.T. (@Papasquatch) November 14, 2018
where they immediately found their way back to the crabapples…
— brett allen (@hittman240) November 14, 2018
As Erica said, this is the good stuff:
This is the kind of news I’m here for
— Erica Adkins-Whitt (@EricaRachelle_) November 13, 2018
Just as a reminder, if you see a raccoon displaying odd or erratic behavior, do not approach it. Unlike these two miscreants, it could have rabies. Instead, contact local authorities.