There’s nothing worse than modern dating.
While dating apps like Tinder have made the act of meeting people easy as pie, their “quantity over quality” approach doesn’t take into consideration that the vast majority of human beings are full-tilt horror shows.
So sure, you may get way more dates on Tinder than back in the day when people met their life partners at the local swap-meet square dance or whatever (my grandparents met at a World War II parade; maybe that’s the way to do it?), but that convenience comes with a dark underbelly of harassment, ghosting and infinite hours of unsolicited amateur porn.
And THEN, there’s ish like a UK woman named Kimberley Latham-Hawkesford recently had to endure, when she received a 15-point list of marching orders from a former suitor, out of nowhere, totally unsolicited, three months after they’d gone on a single, extremely terrible Tinder date.
Kimberley met her suitor at a local coffee chain for the initial introductions. That went well, so they went to a pub for dinner, where things immediately went into precipitous decline, as the man told her to have plastic surgery, among other things.
Then, when Kimberley offered to pay for the dinner, the dude insisted on paying and showed her his bank balance.
Speaking to LADBible, Kimberley called the man “a snob and just generally a horrible person” and said that “the date was just a disaster.” Which seems a bit of an understatement!
And then came the list. Imagine—just imagine—having the sheer, unmitigated temerity to send this to someone:
“If you lost some weight you would look incredible. Maybe a stone or so…”
“You are very pale. I know you aren’t a fan of the sun but a bit of fake tan wouldn’t hurt…”
“Get a sense of humour, you didn’t laugh at a single one of my jokes…”
“You made me feel shit when you offered to pay. It’s like you thought I didn’t have enough money after telling you how much is in my account…”
“You didn’t compliment me once…”
He ended his message by giving Kimberley a one-month deadline for her recommended transformation, and then spelled her name wrong. SO HOT!!! *vomits to death*
Anyway, if the internet response from other women is any indication, this stunt is nauseating but… not exactly surprising…
And these unfortunately…are the fuckwits we have to deal with on dating apps…https://t.co/Sl6j56Vbog
— J E S S I C A (@Ozi_Jess) March 9, 2019
https://t.co/LvVVqOahT7 Someone please find Wayne Kerr and throw him in the bin….
— Tanya (@angelortanya) March 9, 2019
I want every woman in the world to take turns curb stomping this guyhttps://t.co/l31lxZmT10
— ???????????????????????????????? ???????????????? ???? (@__velouria) March 9, 2019
Reason why I don't do online dating number 4691. https://t.co/MmJrMUslli
— Megan Rovia (@meganpsitn) March 11, 2019
Oh. My. Days.
This is comedy gold.@rickygervais please give him a small role, worthy of his infinite wisdom & evidently miniscule penis, in the 2nd series of After Life.
Can't stop laughing. https://t.co/4A7e5lKila
— Kelly Cooper (@KellyCo60983070) March 11, 2019
This guy says ‘wear fake tan’ and ‘look more natural’ in the same message. What an absolute idiot. https://t.co/bJP1hPgbUs
— Daniella (@xDaniiellax) March 10, 2019
Please can we have his details so we can give an equal-opportunities critique? https://t.co/K1dUksidbQ
— Red Queen (@Wythanie) March 10, 2019
I would have cursed him out. A true asshole. https://t.co/kfTQv4dmhL
— Simmkat (@egyptminx24) March 11, 2019
Is this some kind of SICKJOKE https://t.co/1PnNQfVz4N
— Scarlett O'Malley (@ScarlettOMalley) March 9, 2019
What a fucking douche-lord. To all you awesome men out there, I appreciate you for being upstanding, kind and polite & refraining from this kind of disgusting behavior. To all you douche-lords, this is why women loathe you. #girlscandoanythinghttps://t.co/n74d3jUkNy
— Jennifer Hance (@HockeyMamato30) March 12, 2019
So how did Kimberley respond?
My only tip for him is to respect women as his behaviour is disgusting.
That about sums it up! She was more of a gentleman than he was. STOP BEING THE WAY YOU ARE, MEN.