Scottish social media is wild.
Venture into Scottish twitter and you’re likely to find some gems like this:
im at the age where people r askin "so what u doin with ur life" n im like mate am genuinely jus here for a laff x
— cait (@cxitlan) March 3, 2016
pre drinking is the best, whoever thought of getting pissed before actually going out and getting pissed is an absolute legend
— Owen Tilley (@OwenTilley17) September 15, 2016
Member the days when you used to drop your phone n the battery would fall out. Now if you drop your phone your heart falls out ur arsehole
— Megan Macleod (@_StarsX) October 5, 2016
Why dae folk ask babies stupid shite lit "Ur gettin big arent ye?" As if the wee cunts gony be like aye Moira yer spot on am oan the protein
— Goudie (@Goudie15) February 10, 2016
Dinny understand young cunts wantin kids man, just buy a PlayStation, theyre cheaper an ye dinny get the jail if ye chuck it oot the windae
— Goudie (@Goudie15) April 12, 2016
Barber could staple a pic ae yer maw gettin shagged tae yer heed but when he holds up that wee mirror you'd still be like ideal mate cheers
— Goudie (@Goudie15) October 24, 2016
We don’t know you, Goudie, but we love you.
On Scottish Facebook, you get a step more wild.
A man woke up in not-his-own house after a night of drinking and realized that–not only was it not his house, but he’d made an attempt to use the kitchen.
“A couple woke me up going. ‘Who are you?’
“I’m like, ‘What are you talking about? I was here at the party last night.’
“And he went, ‘Trust me man, there was no party here last night.'”
— Sophie B (@SophieBee92) April 16, 2019
Absolute legends 😆
— Colin Peplow (@colpep72) April 16, 2019
The video of the Scottish lad waking up in the wrong house (how did he get in btw?), the husband isn’t entertained at all. I’ve never saw a man look that uncomfortable since the old man pretended he didn’t order over £1000 on porn channels.
— Gammon Points (@TheGammon) April 16, 2019
How DID he get in? How did he get to the wrong house?
Well according to him, “I went to get a taxi last night. The taxi left and I came into the wrong house.”
“I came in, got a cover and went to sleep. Instead of going back to the party I went into the house next door.”
As he recounts this, the couple in the back laugh and offer him a cup of tea.
This doesn’t seem too wild for hungover Scottish people:
Seated next to a dozen hungover Scottish girls each threatening to vom in bags, one of them had an ankle tattoo that said "juicy Lucy"
— Hayley Campbell (@hayleycampbell) July 6, 2014
I really need to smash a Grand Big Mac right about now. Hungover to FUCK. Pro tip: never let a straight Scottish plumber pour your drinks. He made me drink half a litre of rum.
— JJDodders (@JJDodders) March 1, 2018
Being a hungover Scottish person in London. pic.twitter.com/Ehnw7acuT3
— Sean Maguire (@SeanMaguir) September 9, 2018
I'm hungover as balls watching people run a marathon eating congealed blood I feel more Scottish than ever before
— Henry Zebrowski (@HenryLovesYou) October 2, 2016
The Scottish accent is too powerful, just met two hungover Glaswegian men in their 60s with three teeth and one rib of hair between them and immediately proposed to them both
— Ciaraíoch 🎨 (@Ciaraioch) April 6, 2019
a year ago I was chasing sheep down Scottish hillsides and today I’m just hungover
— kara (@KHeeb15) February 25, 2019
The next stop on his journey through the house shows that he clearly fell asleep in the middle of making noodles.
“Thank god this woman is from Glasgow,” he says of his clearly reluctant host. “She was like ,’Aye, we’re welcoming.’ Got a cup of tea and a [cigarette]! Thank you very much for being so understanding.”
Well done to all at @FilmGAlba!
The Scottish #Gaelic for “I am hungover” is:
Tha ceann goirt is aithreachas orm.
I’m still fairly drunk is “Tha deagh smùid orm fhathast.”
— Scots Gaelic for (@ScotsGaelicfor) February 9, 2019
i miss denny’s where do hungover scottish people go for the antidote
— Anna Butoryak ☾ (@annabutoryak) September 16, 2018
everyone is hung over today…who wants scottish soup and bread?
— Janey Godley (@JaneyGodley) December 23, 2012
Starting married life with a big hangover. Scottish Husband 1) has never seen me hung over and 2) is not hung over himself. Merrrh pic.twitter.com/AinufIxygs
— Justine – I Should Read That (@IShouldReadThat) February 19, 2019
This is the most Tuesday in Glasgow thing we’ve ever heard.
But we think we kinda stan that guy. We hope the rest of your week is just as adventurous and fun as his.