A Poll Found The Boston Accent To Be America’s 2nd ‘Sexiest’ Accent—And The Internet Is LOLing

Think of the sexiest thing you can possibly imagine.

Now think of the Boston accent.

Your arousal just plummeted through the floor didn’t it? Of course it did! The Boston accent is not sexy! This is a law of the universe, like gravity!

But according to a survey by travel company Big 7, Americans have rated the Boston accent as the nation’s second sexiest accent.

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And so is the rest of the internet because that is an obvious lie!

NBC10 Boston and Big 7 are fake news! Revoke their credentials!

Big 7 claims they polled 1.5 million people on social media, and Boston came in just behind Texan. Which… IDK man… I just… “I’m gonna give it to ya so hahhhhd…”

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Doesn’t really do it for me? Or anyone? And you’ll never convince me differently?

Wait okay let me imagine Mark Wahlberg saying it…

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Nope still gross and still false!

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I mean second FUNNIEST American accent? Sure, maybe! Second most nails-on-a-chalkboard American accent? Definitely! (#1 is all the weird accents from the Upper Midwest but that may just be projection because I grew up there.)

But second sexiest?! A question to the Big 7 social media audience: have you ever had sex before? Or even seen a sexy movie! Have you had a sexual THOUGHT?

I am having a meltdown!

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I personally will never recover from this. I am never having sex again. I am joining a monastery.

Anyway, lest you think my reaction is oversized, the entire internet was also like:

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Although there were some monsters who decided to give fuel to this egregious falsehood:

 

MONSTERS.

But the most compelling defense came from comedian Alyssa Limperis…

Hmm… IDK man, on second thought…🤔🤔🤔

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