Ted Cruz Just Said We Need The Space Force To Defend Us From ‘Space Pirates’—And Here Come The Jokes

Ahoy, space mateys!

Batten down the hatches and hoist the sails, because Texas Senator Ted Cruz (R), chairman of the Senate subcommittee on aviation and space, has a dire warning for all you landlubbers: beware space pirates! Yargh!

During a Congressional speech, Cruz was defending Donald Trump’s proposed Space Force.

Obviously, one of the biggest reasons we need one is to ward off the scurvy space dogs who seek to plunder our booty!

Cruz defended his statement on Twitter, saying various kinds of space “piracy” are becoming more real every day.

Cruz even complained to Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey over all the jokes people made about him.

While many experts may agree that the U.S. should be wary of hostile foreign powers gaining an upper hand in space (should a conflict between us ever arise), most people also realized there are far more pressing matters to deal with.

The clip of Cruz warning of space pirates is already legendary.

Twitter was more than ready to take a deep dive into space pirate culture.

Climate change is destroying the planet right now, but sure, let’s worry about the possibility that someday some other country might maybe destroy one of our satellites. 

The days of space piracy are coming…

And who will the first space pirate be? I think we all know.

So hoist the colors and shiver me timbers! If you have a lick of sense, you’ll listen to ol’ Ted Cruz and get ready to blast off into a swashbuckling space adventure!