Ugh. “Influencers.” Whether you love ’em or hate ’em, there’s no denying they are the epitome of internet narcissism.
And some of them may defend themselves and say they’re actually making an impact, leading change, but honestly, I think a greater majority are more interested in accumulating admirers and getting free products. There’s all sorts of books being written these days on how to monetize your “brand.”
And look, you can say all you want that I’m just jealous because some of these people are literal millionaires simply because they happen to be pretty and have an Instagram. And you would be correct! But some people are just doing too much!
Case in point, this influencer couple who endangered their lives for this whimsical, romantic, vomit-worthy post.
View this post on Instagram
ONE OF OUR WILDEST KISSES 😘 We couldn’t think of a better picture to describe our couple: 1. Blind trust in each other, no matter what 🙈 2. Madly in love ❤️ 3. Always having the need to do something different with our lives 🤷🏻♂️ 4. Living on the edge (sometimes a bit too much) 🤕 5. Usually on the run 👣 6. Having fun whenever we can 💃🏼 7. Organized chaos 🌪 What is according to you the most important foundation of a strong couple? #srilanka #srilankatrip #travelcouple #ella #travelbucketlist #travelholic #travelcommunity #wanderlove #loveandwildhearts #dirtybootsandmessyhair #traveltogether #speechlessplaces
Ma’am! Sir! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Maybe add “8. Risking being shredded into hamburger by a Sri Lankan locomotive for the ‘gram” because wtf is this ish. Good lord.
As a commenter queried, “Are you really ready to die for a pic?” FAIR QUESTION, COMMENTER!
And apparently, the answer is yes, because it’s not only this Belgian couple, whose names are Camille and Jean, who’ve taken similar death-defying photos from this very train. It’s apparently a very famous tourist attraction and has been featured by tons of these “We are hot and young here is our Instagram give us money please” influencers.
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We are all on a long journey, with problems to solve, lessons to learn, but most of all, experiences to enjoy 🙌🚂 For where are you now 🏠 and where you will go ✈️, for “I’ve always known” 🙋♂ and “I told you so” 🙄, for “nothing is happening” 🤷♀ and “all has gone wrong” 😭 just go out there 🍃 and don’t wait too long ⌛… No matter what happens, make sure you always enjoy this wonderful ride called life ♥️ When was the last time you went on a trip and wher did you go? ✄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄ #travellingourplanet #wondeful_places #bestvacations #living_destinations #travelcouple #togetherforever #coupleshoot #srilanka #srilankatrip #wanderlove
Anyway, it turns out that it’s not quite as dangerous as you assume. Apparently, the infamous train ride creeps through the mountainous turns, which is why there are so many of these photos.
As Camille explained to The Cut:
“When we took the picture, the train was moving at a walking speed and the edge was not deep at all. We would never risk our lives or our health to get a good picture. We care too much for each other for that.”
Which fair enough, I suppose, but I’m gonna have to go ahead and disagree on the basis that it apparently took 500 photos (shot by Jean’s brother, who was traveling with the couple) to get the perfect shot.
That is plenty of time for, like, a squirrel or something (do they have those in Sri Lanka? Someone Google it; I’m on deadline) to run across the tracks and the driver to slam on the brakes and then there’s Jean tumbling into a ravine while Camille watches.
That said, this is exactly the kind of stupid shi* I would do (my photo would be funny though because romance is a lie) so I shouldn’t judge. But I’m gonna anyway! And so is the rest of the internet!
While there were, of course, plenty of dreamy-eyed sycophants in love with this photo…
… there were plenty of others who weren’t so sure…
… and even more who were just straight-up like “NAH.”
It's all fun and games and Instagram "likes" until someone ends up seriously injured or dead.
— Sydney Chandler (@syds180turn) May 15, 2019
This is why I follow only 5 celebrities, like 30 dogs and cats, and NO INFLUENCERS on Instagram.https://t.co/AjjXv7hHQq
— Heidi N. Moore (@moorehn) May 14, 2019
— Carolina VonKampen (@CarolinaMarie_V) May 17, 2019
And there was no shortage of people for whom @backpackdiariez’s post seemed to underline the true subtext of “Influencergram”: sh*t’s fake AF:
"What is the foundation of a very strong couple?" @backpackdiariez asks.
Well, if ur "travel influencers", u both need a large dose of narcissism, above-average levels of egotism, a need for exhibitionism, bodies considered desirable, & followers who admire those things. And $
— Gift of Tongues – David E Johnston (@Agiftoftongues) May 14, 2019
The key thing here, to me, is that the couple took five HUNDRED pictures before deciding on the one they posted. Instagram is a lie, reason #124,3939,290.https://t.co/oEEzpC0pyY
— MeredithB-S (@MBennettSmith) May 15, 2019
Anyway, we can shi*talk all we want, but these people are making millions off iPhone photos and living in 5-star resorts in Bora Bora or whatever, so who are the real fools here?!