This Shirtless Statue Of Abraham Lincoln Is Honestly Making Us Sweat A Little Bit

Los Angeles is known for many things—Hollywood, of course, great Mexican food, natch, and perhaps especially for its insanely hot people. All those soap opera hunks and hot pop stars are just regular citizens out running errands before they hit it big, after all.

So it makes sense that even the statue of Abe Lincoln at the Los Angeles Federal Building is a stone-cold fox, standing there shirtless, chiseled of chest and rippled of abdomen, thumb suggestively hooked in waistband like a Calvin Klein underwear ad, giving us sexy eyes like a thirst trap carved from stone.

And this Honestly Hawt Abe has set the internet aflame:

I mean damn. Be honest. You would. I would. We all would.

I am currently scrolling through Abe’s Instagram looking for three disparate pictures to heart and some commonality to use as a thinly-veiled pretext for sliding into his DMs.

Gotta get this Abe!

Anyway, like many people in Los Angeles, this Abe Lincoln has been out here shirtless since 1939 and hasn’t aged a day. According to Time, he was created as part of a public art contest by a Los Angeles student sculptor named James Lee Hansen, who used himself as the model, which is the most Los Angeles thing that has ever happened.

A sneaky internet sleuth even found the original LIFE Magazine profile on Hansen, where you can see a photo of him shirtless in short-shorts beside his creation. You’ll be torn between rolling your eyes and exclaiming, “MORE LIKE JAMES LEE HANDSOME AMIRITE?!”

In any case, Hansen had a very eloquent and erudite artistic philosophy: “Well, from a sculpturing standpoint, it’s better to show the body without any clothes. That’s why I left ’em off.” BRILLIANT GIVE HIM A POSTHUMOUS NOBEL OR WHATEVER THEY GIVE SCULPTORS.

For the internet’s part, they apparently couldn’t agree with Hansen more, because the Twitter responses are basically LA Federal Court Abe Lincoln Fan-Fic:

I just set my Hulu DVR for this, I don’t even care that it’s not real.

Anyway, we all know what happened to the real Lincoln, but what became of Thirst Trap Lincoln’s creator?

The only thing hotter than a chiseled twink Lincoln is a bad-boy artist. We need some fanfic about a Lincoln/Hansen romance STAT.